Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
After last night, I could never be a politician.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize