I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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