Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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