You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
