ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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