Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
so that wasnt chicken after all
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
