this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.