Dude my mom stole all your condoms
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20