Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
