My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
