can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
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