There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
