so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize