brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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