Whod you bang
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
