Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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