Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Randomize
