I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
