Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
