Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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