As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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