Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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