if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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