my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
