I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
