OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
