I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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