**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
