The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
