It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
