Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
