Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
