So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
