Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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