Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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