Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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