i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
