Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
