A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
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