Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
