I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
