Sry I called you an 8
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
