i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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