i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
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