i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
