bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
