mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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