Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
