there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
