I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
