i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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