I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
