Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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