Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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