forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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